I'm so behind.
The rest of last semester kicked my ass, so I failed to keep up here.
Preparation for Italy had fallen very much on the back burner. But now it's all coming together again. I'm figuring out what to bring in my ONE suitcase. And the most absolute important new addition would be:
Once I get back, I'm gonna get a lens with a much wider depth of field. I cannot waitttttttt.
Elise and I have been going back and forth with questions- plane tickets/seats, what to pack, HOW to pack, where our apartments are...
Correction; Elise has been moved 3 times. So who knows how far she is from me.
I've been putting off doing this and I've been putting off seeing people because I know it means goodbye. It's so amazing to see how many people actually care about us as we depart because our friends are coming down specifically to see us off, but it's bittersweet.
I know everyone's going to be here when we come back but there are so many things I'm going to miss. My best friends' prom that I got invited to is the same night that I arrive back in Baltimore, so I have to miss that. I'm missing some sweet studio classes that won't be offered again. I'm missing out on the last semester of people who are graduating this spring that I've actually started to be friendly with. That's the worst.
So much has happened this year- fuck, so much has happened in the last few weeks. (Referencing the bombardment of 3 situations at once the last week of the semester.) So I can't even fathom what's going to happen while I'm in a completely new setting with completely new people. I'm going to learn so much more about myself than I will ever learn, I think.
It's hard leaving right now because I've found myself in an ecstatically happy place. But it will be even harder leaving Italy, I'm sure. Because leaving Baltimore, I know most of the people will still be here when I come back. But once I leave Italy, that's it. There's no going back to a similar setting.
I need to let it hit me and actually start to prepare.